'You Don't Know Me'

As I sit here angrily eating lasagna I think about how much I'm bothered by so much energy I feel I've been putting into everything and getting no results in return.
...AND...

I just think about how much I use this blog to rant about things that are totally irrelevant to the "Jackiestubbsfilm" empire! I wish my life were more interesting lately. I've just been bored.

I'm been searching and applying for jobs everywhere! I'm not sure why the employment market seems to hate me so much.
...I wanna be able to see what they see...

Ah, not being able to find a steady job before the summer is completely stressful. Luck please change! I'm not sure if it helps saying that but I hope it does soon.

Don't even get me started on the ladies! That market has been pretty slim lately too! Only because I haven't met any new gals recently. And to be honest I wouldn't want to meet any new girls if this one would just finally come around. It kills me to put in all this energy and what kind of outcome? Just more wasted energy.


I'm disappointed, bored and stuck in life right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm still seeing all the positives, it's just---I NEED A BREAK THROUGH SOON!

No One Has It All...

I wasn't sure I was over her until I cried over you.

I think I'm still giving you too much credit.

Near to You--Fine Frenzy

i thought, i thought, singing this to you;








he and I had something beautiful
but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'cause I knew he'd never love me back

such pain as this
shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
still a little bit delirious

near to you, I am healing
but it's taking so long
'cause though he's gone
and you are wonderful
it's hard to move on
yet, I'm better near to you.

you and I have something different
and I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred,
but I am working oh so hard
to get back to who I used to be

he's disappearing, fading steadily
well, I'm so close to being yours,
won't you stay with me, please

near to you, I am healing
but it's taking so long
'cause though he's gone
and you are wonderful
it's hard to move on
yet, I'm better near to you

I only know that
I am better where you are
I only know that
I am better where you are
I only know that I belong
where you are

near to you, I am healing
but it's taking so long
'cause though he's gone
and you are wonderful
it's hard to move on
yet, I'm better near to you

[Depress]ant

Thank you, thank you, thank you.


Maybe it was best I was sipping on some drankk, watching her get her freak on the dance floor with a guy.

& you'll be MY excuse to never trust someone like you, doesn't that suck?

LAST WEEK'S GOALS:

As you can see, the three goals I made I only successfully completed ONE.

The other two (had I followed them) would have put me in a better spot than I was last night and this afternoon--total utter stress and chaos. Thanks to my procrastination of course.


SO tonight I will start with THIS weeks goals and by the end of the week (Sunday or Monday) I'll post whether or not I completed these next set of em'. I'm hoping to identify each of my problems every week in order to optimize my productivity. I know I probably just sounded like a robot but seriously it's time for some change. I know I'm expecting a lot more out of myself but I'm hoping to hold myself to this each and every week.

And I hope you as well are keeping to your goals!


"Give yourself something to work toward -- constantly."




-J

without a head

This morning I had some bizarre-oh dreams.

It included me without a head after smoking.

And two people telling me that they never wanted to talk to me again.

Hmm, at least they were being honest. I'm tired of being babied.

Lurking for some Inspiration?

Some current inspiration comes from the UofA Media Arts BFA class of 2010. They are an amazing group of individuals with superior talent in filmmaking. Pretty much they blow my mind and I am so proud to know a few of them and to have worked with some as well.


Here is some work from a couple of the BFA filmmakers. Some I've met, some I've yet to meet:



by Katie Gault





by Sarah Haber and Katie Gault




Rough edit by Adam Valencia




All these short pieces really just gave me an extra boost of inspiration, hope it excites you too!